Certifiable

If you have worked in a company larger than 100 people you most likely have run across someone with an "I Love Me" wall, and if you have seen one, you know what I am talking about. I am not referring to the recent college graduate who reverently hangs their diploma on the wall out of their well gotten sense of pride, but more of the person who has it hanging there five years later. That same person who manages to find a need to frame every little accomplishment, every certification, every news clipping, every award, every picture with someone who might even vaguely qualify as a celebrity.

I'm not a psychologist (I've only been analyzed by one on TV), but there seems to be only a few types of people with the need to create such a shrine to self. As mentioned, recent graduates will sometimes do this as a sense of pride, it might be their first license or a college diploma, but it generally does not last very long. The second are a type that have historically been handed everything, although they will always claim having earned it all, and will post their placard as a way of saying, "I'm better than you because I have this." The third is someone who springs up in middle management far too often, those who use their well framed walls as a shield, a way of deferring questions over their own incompetence by the sheer volume of credentials adorning their office walls (killed a couple potential interviews with that one, didn't I?).

You have likely had the opportunity to meet all three types of office space decorators if you have been in the workforce for a while. You might even have been, or still are, one of those people. Eventually, if you are very very good and eat all your spinach, you might run across the fourth type. These are the people who are generally low-key, do good work, don't make much of a fuss and almost never need an attaboy, but they are arrogant, and always happy to take those needing it down a couple notches. I know this type well, I am definitely one.

Perhaps it was my prankishness, perhaps it was just being fed up with dealing with the second and third types listed above, or perhaps it was just because I could; but one day I had enough and decided to create the true "I Love Me" wall. For most people they saw it as a bit of an over eccentric sense of accomplishment, the second and third types congratulated me on having such a masterful wall, but a few people "got it." Mostly, they were IT people who have been around for a while and recognized the joke in having Packard Bell certificates hanging up on my wall (the four at the far left). Oh, I rotated certificates in and out of the wall from time to time, even had to expand it once, but there was always at least one Packard Bell certification hanging amongst the rest. What does this have to do with "tech" you might ask? Well I assure you there is a segue here, someplace.

A few years back I had written an article for the online publication Workitecht by Dennis Faust. While Workitecht is no more, I feel the article still holds up a few years later and thought I might share it with anyone looking for a light read. And what better way to announce an article about certifications in the IT profession than to show off my very own "I Love Me" wall full of certificates. So I give you Certification Killed the IT Professional, uncensored and with full grammatical errors. Enjoy.